Formidable Yet Profound

Last June, it got really hard for me... misunderstandings, losing someone and not knowing how it happened... it came like a bolt of lightning, rapid and formidable. It had stricken me relentlessly. No explanations, just ruminated that it’s over. I felt so alone, discerning that I won't have any place or chance to go further, to prevail on.

It's funny how our life can be so frisky. People get to meet trials, sometimes they triumph and shout for grandeur but every now and then, it could be fierce and unbreakable. We may sometimes feel so truncated. Ironic, isn't it?

But somehow, days went by as it is and how it should be, unfathomable yet no choice but to pass each day with a downtrodden sentiment. Sometimes I get to blame God why things never go my way, why this idiocy transpires. My freewill was even doubted, it became like we have a choice to do things our way but things still occurs the way it should be... like, how is that freewill? I wasn't able to answer it at a halt. I know at the right time, this enigma will be deciphered.

Demise seemed to move with me, everyday that passed. A predicament of questions, like what did I do wrong? What should have I done? What should I not do? And answers like, I should have been more expressive... and more questions just arise ad infinitum. But I couldn't have done it, I was never the type who show through actions or words how I felt about someone even burly as it may feel.

I don't show that much emotion not because I’m like that... it’s because I lack those abilities... I didn't know how or when it’s right... I grew up having my family that was always there, yes, but I always depended on myself for such certain issues, shy about asking such emotional questions and was only able to talk about those stories when it's all over or I already overcame those corresponding situations. I was afraid to talk about failures and to be specific, my failure..

I may have been down beaten and depressed, but as I was able to accept things the way it is, little by little, my status quo seemed to mend. Things I wanted before but didn't have the courage to perceive, knocks on my door. It gets better every day, making me opportune and my life meaningful for a purpose.

At the end of the day, I was able to grasp what God and the circumstances wanted to teach me... It is to have faith, accept, love, and wait. No one should set for anything less, we should always get hold of superior things, clench on things we love but should still know when it wrecks us and it’s time to let go even how much you wanted it. There's always an approximate made for us and we are here to fulfill that purpose. We only live to bring fruition to what was destined.

Roller Coaster Love

I love you is composed of words so strong, yet people can’t help but to take it for granted. Will he love her back? Will she love him back? Some may already know while some will never know. And some may take risks just to obtain it while some will never risk failure. Truly, it is magical. Most people will die for it. Even with values like that of a fully literate person, craziness strikes them.

Women usually tell others that they want a guy who’s tall, handsome, funny, rich, etc. while, guys likes a girl who’s sexy, pretty and charming. But no one’s perfect. And so are them. We always aim for the best, only to fall in love with someone far worse than they have ever imagined.

Is it just because of the face? The body? The smartness? Can anyone tell? If you can explain love, then you would be lying. It’s something intangible yet material. It’s expressive yet unexplainable. Dumb move for others yet would happily gallop it.

Why was it even invented by God? When it both has its advantage and disadvantage? People will aim for the best just to acquire it, it can be their shining star in a dark night but it could also be a knife that may tempt a person to do things irrationally and could hurt one’s reputation.

When everything’s perfect and spontaneous, we usually become bored of the whole idea. Love is more like acting insane, breaking down and coming undone, it’s a rollercoaster kind of rush. But at the end of the day, you realize how you never knew you could feel that much. That’s the way love is. Exactly like how I have heard from Taylor Swift.

Ripples in the Night Sky

As the daylight fades from the sky, a moon starts to replace the scenery above the heavens with stars. How come we can only see them at night? Yet it has always been there, it doesn’t hide nor does it have the capability to run away from the Earth. The moon shines second to the brightest object after the sun in spite of that, its surface is very dark with a similar reflectance to that of a coal. Indeed, it was a great night sky.

I see the stars radiate light along with the moon to illuminate the darkness that had befallen the Earth. Did you know that the Earth is light years away from the stars? Do you also know that before you see the stars at night, it had already lived thousands of years in reality? Some of those you have seen were already dead.

At this moment, people may be diligently working on something or may already be asleep. Some may even be unwinding to discharge the stress they have accumulated throughout the day. What seemed to be a night sky full of wonders is just left there unappreciated. With bountiful of resources, people who can acquire them within the reach of a hand, disregards those that are not essential for them anymore.

What I realized tonight is that, the world was built peculiar just like what I saw today nonetheless, it was all made for something. All significant and provides a role to each other. One may not see its value today but, will you still want to wait to lose everything before you realize how much it’s worth to you? There are more to what can just be seen by the naked eyes, heard by some nosy ears, and felt by the bare skin. Open your mind and see the wonders that are concealed beneath the journey we all call “Life”.

Surviving Senior Controversies

Last night was a most controversial one. Hearts were beating fast, as the night dominates the moment. 6:10 and 7:40 were the most significant set of numbers. Fire, water, earth and air best describes the sentiments of the people involved. All are different but together could have made a difference. Unity was one word so powerful yet enormously taken for granted.

Like an owl delivering messages, everyone scattered to each person they knew to talk about their own point of view. Each had an idea of their own, each with a judgment. I thought about the foolishness made that had caused this uproar. I hated that fact. I hated the person for being selfish and everything. But I realized, will hating get me anywhere? I’m not perfect and so are you who could be reading this particular sentence at this point in time. I couldn’t be neutral all the time as much as I want to. I am just a well deep enough for a certain volume of water but more than that, I can’t handle anymore.

Issues I have never experienced my whole college days, now stood right in front of me. Good friends and relationships, can you still see it? If I have done something wrong, would I be like them? Do you have the guts to ask it on my face and let me explain? Will consider the fact that you knew me and I wouldn’t do it without a reason?

Truth is people will always come and go in your life. Not all are meant to stay with you and gets pleased by you. As much as I wanted my friends to stay with me, you can’t plan life. All these past few weeks’ events killed me with a thousand stabs. Though, I don’t know how it could possibly happen with such a small body as mine. Haha! Kidding…

Sir was right! We all have a responsibility to each other, that’s the rule of due process. Even though we may not know it, still is our obligation. What happens next? We don’t know… Love me, Hate me, I don’t care anymore coz a true friend will always stay by your side, accept you as you are, hate you but at the end of the day, they will still be there for you. I hope everything gets settled.

A notice from a friend, a hug, a talk and a food with a friend… Even though everything seems destroyed and messy… This was one great day full of lessons and realization… I’m glad I have friends like you…

Fantasy within Reality

A good Saturday morning involves an endless sleep in a comfortable bed with lots of pillow on your head, on your side or even on your feet. There’s that dream where you wouldn’t want to wake up from. Sunlight creeps on you, reminding you that he is present today and will be staying with you the whole day. You wake up from your own fantasy where it’s better than reality. It’s really hard but you do have your obligations, so you put your slippers on and start the day with a cup of milk.

Entering the school, you find yourself in the middle of a crowd. You see someone, there’s a smile on your face. But, would he really notice you or you’re just like everyone else that fits with the cluster? A hate with reality that in order to get something you deserve, you should also be of the same value. If you want the best, you should also be the best. It’s hard but true. There’s a friend of mine who told me that it’s just simple, if it’s for you then you’ll eventually have it. But, what if not?! Will you just give it up?

There are many people who have done things that oppose what they stand for, in order to earn what they wanted. Not all people are given enough choices to be what they planned out. It was never of our choice what it is going to be. We try to be and we end up a failure.